The two most dangerous hurricanes of the year are finally behind us. They've left a lot of destruction and sadness in their wake, maybe not so much as Katrina did back in 2005, but enough to remind us just how destructive our ecosystem can treat us and why it's important to keep those who are helpless and in imminent danger at the forefront of our thoughts.
Politics really doesn’t accomplish anything other than score people cushy jobs that they can use to score cushy jobs for more people. The worst part is none of these jobs do anything to improve rising unemployment.
Lately, life’s been in a funk. Not the kind of funk that inspires George Clinton songs or the kind of funk that gets you laid in a dance club instead of pointing, giggling and lifelong emotional humiliation or the kind of funk that seeps into your clothes from a night of partying and makes you wonder if you spent the evening rubbing yourself with a raw chicken.
It’s the question that’s been pondered for years. Everyone has thought of it. No living man has ever been able to answer it. That question, of course, is “What’s the meaning of life?” That question got too hard, so we moved on to another one.
What’s the biggest problem with government? Some will say they are too big or too small. Others will complain they don’t care enough or care too much how their decisions affect people. Everyone will point out they created the IRS.
Danny Gallagher is dead. Please, hold your applause until the very end.
Ann Coulter has officially lost her mind. She’s either left them somewhere or taken them out of her head so it would speed up her writing time.
We are a nation of fat people. We eat too much, exercise too little and don't care enough about either to do anything about it. We, the very hefty people of the United States of America, are one nation under a God-awful amount of fat, indivisible from our sofas and Barcaloungers with liberty and pancakes for all.
The flowers are blooming. Birds are chirping. The sun is showing us how much he loves us by turning our cold, cold winters into warm, bright sunny days. In other words, it’s Valentine’s Day. Dear God help us, it’s returned.
We’re running out of heroes here on Earth and fast. If only we could go next door and borrow a cup or buy a whole palette of them from Sam’s Club or shoplift some from Safeway.
